end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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