Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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