I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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