I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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