Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
