just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
At least make sure they are 18
Why
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
