they need to just BURY HIM!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
