Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Plan B is the new Plan A
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
