Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
