Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
