in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
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You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
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PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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