I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
