Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
