you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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