I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
