how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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