About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
MIDGETS
????
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
