She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
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ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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