Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
