Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
