I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
