I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
