Me. At least after what I've been through.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
