So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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