Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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