Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
