I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
