I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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