I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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