they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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