Please, let me fuck your mom
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
