I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
