dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How naked do you want me to be?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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