he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
