But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
