It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
