Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
