I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
