She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize