She announced her abortion via fbk
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
