dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize