What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
