Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
