apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize