I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
