O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
