its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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