I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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