We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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