Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
