my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
