Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
