i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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