Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
