The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
