i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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