it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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