Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation