Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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