He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
