I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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