D3 body, D1 cock
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you had me at cake vodka
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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