As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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