Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
