she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
