no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
