Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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