This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Thank you for not boning my boss.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
